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Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 – 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.

He was lauded as the „greatest humorist the United States has produced“, and William Faulkner called him „the father of American literature“.

His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), the latter often called „The Great American Novel“.

Twain was fascinated with science and scientific inquiry. He developed a close and lasting friendship with Nikola Tesla, and the two spent much time together in Tesla‘s laboratory.

In 1909, Thomas Edison visited Twain at his home in Redding, Connecticut and filmed him. Part of the footage was used in The Prince and the Pauper (1909), a two-reel short film. It is the only known existing film footage of Twain.

Twain was born shortly after an appearance of Halley’s Comet, and he predicted that he would „go out with it“ as well; he died the day after the comet returned.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

As one boy said, ‘I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they’re all that bad, how come I’m so wonderful’?!!

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

If you want to change the future, you must change what you’re doing in the present.

Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it’s that they know so many things that just aren’t so.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

It’s better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely „at home“ in your own skin. When you achieve that as a natural state of „being“, then you can finally look beyond yourself and fully contribute all your talents to the world.

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn’t indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn’t detect.

So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.

Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic – not absense of anxiety.

Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.

A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he’s down, A little more „We“, A little less „I“, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.